What Makes a Good Conversationalist?

What Makes a Good Conversationalist?

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Conversation adds richness of relationships of all kinds.

I’ve always viewed conversation as the perfect blend of science and art. The science comes in being the observing learning and deconstructing the dichotomy of communication.  The art lies in the practice of engaging with others, using what you’ve learned to constantly improve.

As someone who’s always been fascinated with watching people interact, here’s what I’ve noticed that amazing communicators do:

LISTENING

The best conversationalists, give you the stage. They want to know you and your thoughts. They know what they’re going to say, but what you have to say, is far more interesting to them. 

CONSCIOUS PRESENCE

They’re with you the whole time. It doesn’t matter if it’s in person, online, or phone, when a good conversationalist is speaking with you, they’re 100% with YOU.

AWARENESS

Because they are with you in each moment, a good communicator knows how to sense the flow of conversation. They’re so good at dictating the mood and energy of the person or people they’re speaking with, which means they will own the conversion, and you generally won’t even notice.

CALM

This one is huge and overlooked, but the best people are calm.

Again, because of their presence and awareness, they generally don’t get caught up in any hysteria or drama. Their calmness is like a warmth, that makes you feel comfortable.

CURIOUS

Lastly, but most importantly, the best conversationalists are curious. They combine all the above and then ask questions that require more than a “yes/no” response. 

People who excel in conversation, want to leave knowing more about who you are. Their goal is to not hog the space.

That’s generally what I’ve noticed across the board.

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